Hectic Justice
Hectic Justice - The Trailer!

Hectic Justice - The Trailer!

January 25, 2020

Puns.  Gavels.  Dad jokes.  Mini skirts.

Bumbletard Productions reluctantly presents:

An Ally-McBeal/Law-&-Order meets 1940s-radio-show meets daggy-Uncle-Russell-at-your-wedding-style show:

Hectic Justice!

Find out what happens when two actor-comedians, a musician and a math teacher from Melbourne get together to re-establish the nuance of ridiculous radio dramas of yesteryear, whilst established Australian celebrities make dubious and most likely subpoenaed cameos, guaranteed not to enhance their careers.

Ladies and Germs, we give you:  

Hectic Justice!

 

A new podcast comedy written, directed and produced by Bek Chapman.

 

Featuring the voices of:

Bek Chapman as Hester Monroe and Chief Boobie Winston.

Sam Marzden as Narrator.

Lauren Bok as Detective Zoe Legless. 

Tony "Bones" Burge - appears in Episode 1, keep your knickers on!

 

GUEST STARRING:

Michael Dalton as Dolly Diamond playing Judge Anna Feazlebottom

and 

Tony Martin as Pete Smith (purely Melbourne joke.)

Theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman. 

Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

Episode 0 - Tittilating Teasers!

Episode 0 - Tittilating Teasers!

January 29, 2020

In the forgotten pants of your bathroom floor, we meet the four feminine fespians who will no doubt win the hearts of listeners world-wide, as this preview-teaser almost demonstrates just how dramatic and not just hired for their good-looks at all these actors really are! 

Meet Hester Monroe, single female lawyer, trying to make it in a man's world in a short skirt whilst barely keeping her endearingly overly dramatic emotional problems in check.  Zoe Legless, the hard, sassy, tell-it-like-it-is detective and Hester's best friend with a flawless New Bjork accent.  Judge Anna Feazlebottom, corrupt, middle-aged bit of crumpet with one hot gavel and the best catch phrase of all.  And Chief of Police Boobie Winston, maternal, tough-as-nails and substitute for everyone's dead mother.  She makes everything all right, even if it isn't, and if it's not, well, she'll pull you into her pair of fantastical bosoms and comfort you in a brogue that's almost Scottish...or is it Welsh? Or is she just constantly having a stroke?!  Find out in this preview of HECTIC JUSTICE!

Featuring the voices of:

Bek Chapman as Hester Monroe and Chief Boobie Winston.

Sam Marzden as Narrator.

Lauren Bok as Detective Zoe Legless. 

Tony "Bones" Burge - appears in Episode 1, keep your knickers on! 

GUEST STARRING:

Michael Dalton as Dolly Diamond playing Judge Anna Feazlebottom

and 

Tony Martin as Pete Smith (purely Melbourne joke.)

Theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman.  Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

Audio advice and clip tidying done by Andrew "Parkers" Bailey.

Episode 1 - Run, Mascara, Run!

Episode 1 - Run, Mascara, Run!

February 4, 2020

Turn on the wireless! It's time for Hectic Justice!  As Hester Monroe loses her case due to a dubious ruling by Judge Anna Feazlebottom, mafia boss Big "TONY" Mascara once again goes free!  A confrontation with Defense Attorney Baxter Slick leaves her breathless and unbuttoned, but a cup of tea with best friend, tell-it-like-it-is Detective Zoe Legless will calm her down! Especially when served in an inappropriate negligee.  But what will happen now?  Will the mafia be free to roam the streets and possibly do even more illegal things illegally?  And how will Chief Boobie Winston handle another case being tossed like an avocado salad?  Find out in this first episode of Hectic Justice!

 

Featuring the voices of:

Sam Marzden as Narrator and mafia mobster.

Lauren Bok as Detective Zoe Legless and mafia mobster.

Bek Chapman as Hester Monroe and Chief Boobie Winston.

and introducing Tony "Bones" Burge as the Radio Voice Over Guy, Big "Tony" Mascara, dopey mafia mobster and Defense Attorney Baxter Slick!

 

GUEST STARRING:

Michael Dalton as Dolly Diamond playing Judge Anna Feazlebottom

and 

Tony Martin as Pete Smith (purely Melbourne joke.)

--

Audio advice and clip tidying done by Andrew "Parkers" Bailey of

The Campfire with Parkers & Daly!

https://www.thecampfirewithparkersanddaly.com/podcast 

--

Featured music includes (in order):

The Andrew Sisters - Jumpin’Jive

Hot Sugar Band - Topsy

Hot Sugar Band - Blue Drag

Hot Sugar Band - Do You Know What It Means (to miss New Orleans?)

https://hotsugarband.bandcamp.com/

Special thanks to Hot Sugar Band from Paris who gave permission to use their music!

 

Theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman.  Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

 

 

Episode 2 - Legless in the Night!

Episode 2 - Legless in the Night!

February 11, 2020

We go behind the scenes on an investigation with Detective Legless! Why is she such a tell-it-like-it-is detective who feels things inside her so hard?  Who is her bumbling but attractive new partner?  And Hester is prosecuting a case which may lead her into mortal danger!  But is her skirt too short?  Which new character will prove his worth by saving her life and possibly getting lucky?  And specifically what accent is that coming from Chief of Police Boobie Winston?  Or is she just having a stroke?  Find out in this episode of Hectic Justice!  

Featuring the voices of:

Sam Marzden as Narrator and mafia mobster, Mickey 'One-Eye' Spiggs.

Lauren Bok as Detective Zoe Legless and mafia mobster, Nippy 'Tits' McNorgstrem.

Bek Chapman as Hester Monroe and Chief Boobie Winston.

Tony "Bones" Burge as Sergeant Lucky Spriggan, mafia mobster Davey 'Jo' Spider, and Defense Attorney Baxter Slick!

Seán Cunningham as Conrad Craig from the County of Cork. 

 

GUEST STARRING:

Michael Dalton as Dolly Diamond playing Judge Anna Feazlebottom

and 

Tony Martin as over-acting extra and Pete Smith!

Theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman.  Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

Audio advice and clip tidying done by Andrew "Parkers" Bailey from

The Campfire with Parkers & Daly!

https://www.thecampfirewithparkersanddaly.com/podcast

 

Featured music includes (in order):

Kid Ory - Muskrat Ramble

Hot Sugar Band - Mabel

Hot Sugar Band - Blues Petite

With special thanks to Hot Sugar Band from Paris who gave permission to use their music! 

https://hotsugarband.bandcamp.com/

Hectic Justice Outtakes #1

Hectic Justice Outtakes #1

February 18, 2020

Puns.  Gavels.  Dad jokes.  Mini skirts.

Bumbletard Productions reluctantly presents:

Hectic Justice!

A new podcast comedy written, directed and produced by Bek Chapman. 

Featuring the voices of:

Sam Marzden

Lauren Bok

Bek Chapman

Tony "Bones" Burge

Seán Cunningham

Michael Dalton/Dolly Diamond 

 

Theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman.  Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

Episode 3 - An Abundence of Melons!

Episode 3 - An Abundence of Melons!

February 25, 2020

The mafia is at it again!  Big "Tony" Mascara and his lackeys are doing what they do best, the illegal capture of confectionary!  In this case, the smuggling of precious donuts! The sexy, corrupt Judge Feazlebottom meets them for a revealingly addictive chit-chat, but theme music suggests they're being spied on by someone who may use what he's seen to his ambitious advantage in an upcoming episode!  But meanwhile, someone ELSE comes across the smuggling and must be done away with! And after a hopefully not copyrighted Benny Hill chase-sequence, what will happen next?!

 

Featuring the voices of:

Sam Marzden as Narrator and mafia mobster, Mickey 'One-Eye' Spiggs and the dad in the Donut King ad.

Lauren Bok as Detective Zoe Legless and mafia mobster, Nippy 'Tits' McNorgstrem and the woman in the Marlborough Girth Cigarettes ad.

Bek Chapman as the mother in the Donut King ad! 

Tony "Bones" Burge as Mafia Boss Big "Tony" Mascara, mafia mobster Davey 'Jo' Spider and the little boy in the Donut King ad, and of course, the Advertisement Voice Over guy! 

 

GUEST STARRING:

Michael Dalton as Dolly Diamond playing Judge Anna Feazlebottom

Tony Martin as over-acting extra and Pete Smith!

AND 

 DAMIAN COWELL playing Steve Monaghetti (another Melbourne joke.)

--

Audio advice and clip tidying done by Andrew "Parkers" Bailey from

The Campfire with Parkers & Daly!

https://www.thecampfirewithparkersanddaly.com/podcast

 

Featured music includes (in order):

Hot Sugar Band - Flip Lid - from album - Are You In Shape?

Hot Sugar Band - Blue Drag - from album - Swing For Dancers

Hot Sugar Band - Mabel - from album Are You In Shape?

Benny Goldman Big Band - King Porter Stomp (under Donut King ad vocals)

Hot Sugar Band - Jumpin' at the Woodside - special training - from album - Swing For Dancers

Hot Sugar Band - Topsy - from album - Swing For Dancers

Homer Louis Randolph III aka Boots Randolph - Yackety Sax - 1963 

With special thanks to Hot Sugar Band from Paris who gave permission to use their music! 

https://hotsugarband.bandcamp.com/

---

Theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman.  Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

Vocals for Donut King ad, written and sung by Bek Chapman.

Episode 4 - The Boobies of Winston!

Episode 4 - The Boobies of Winston!

March 11, 2020

With special thanks to Hot Sugar Band from Paris who gave permission to use their music!  Buy it here:

https://hotsugarband.bandcamp.com/

This episode, we learn more about the stolen donut heist!  But first, we see a kerfuffling bumbletard of a first date with Sergeant Lucky Spriggan and our sexy heroine Hester Monroe!  With an offensively stereotypical French waiter and some awkwardly hilarious slapstick, their date is cut short with an important phone call, causing Spriggan to head to the New Bjork Police Precinct!  That's right!  It's about the DONUTS!  But where are they?  Who are they?  And why are they?!  Sprinkled with more overacting by the policemen extras, this episode will surely bring nothing to light while mentioning breasts in an exorbitant amount.  BREASTS!

GUEST STARRING:

Michael Dalton as Dolly Diamond playing Judge Anna Feazlebottom

Tony Martin and Serena Rowel as over-acting extras! 

 

Featuring the voices of:

Sam Marzden as Narrator.

Lauren Bok as Detective Zoe Legless.

Bek Chapman as Police Chief Boobie Winston and Hester Monroe. 

Tony "Bones" Burge as Sergeant Lucky Spriggan and, of course, the Advertisement Voice Over guy! 

--

Audio advice gratefully received from Andrew "Parkers" Bailey from

The Campfire with Parkers & Daly!

https://www.thecampfirewithparkersanddaly.com/podcast

 

Featured music includes (in order):

Tommy Dorsey, Bob Crosby, Harry James  - "Boogie-Woogie: They All Played Boogie-Woogie" (MP3 album) on the Official Halidon Music Store: http://bit.ly/2d9dPfc

Hot Sugar Band - 'Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans' 

With special thanks again to Hot Sugar Band from Paris who gave permission to use their music! 

https://hotsugarband.bandcamp.com/

'Hectic Justice' theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman.  Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

Episode 5 - The Lips of Fury!

Episode 5 - The Lips of Fury!

March 29, 2020

Are you enjoying the music in Hectic Justice?  Well, head to https://hotsugarband.bandcamp.com/ where you can listen and buy the albums! Thanks to Hot Sugar Band who gave permission to use their music!  

This episode, my Hectic Justice friends, we meet our stern, serious, beautifully A-cupped Coroner/Pathologist/Fiddler with the Dead - Dr Heidi Scalpel! What?! A WOMAN? A woman DOCTOR?! Has the world gone MAD?!  Detective Legless and Sergeant Spriggan seek her help about the deceased jogger, Steve Monaghetti, (another Australian in-joke), and during the examining of her examination as the good doctor examines him, she finds a note detailing exactly what happened to cause his untimely death!  Big "Tony" Mascara is at it again!  Detective Legless and Sergeant Lucky Spriggan must consult the sexy heroine and STAR of the show, Hester Monroe!  But will she be able to perk up her jugglets and seek a warrant to search Mascara's premises for the stolen donuts? Oh My GOD! The SUSPENSE!

GUEST STARRING:

Michael Dalton as Dolly Diamond playing Judge Anna Feazlebottom

Tony Martin and Serena Rowel as over-acting extras! 

 

Featuring the voices of:

Sam Marzden as Narrator and Harold Blogs, reporter of 'The Page'.

Lauren Bok as Detective Zoe Legless.

Bek Chapman as Dr Heidi Scalpel and Hester Monroe. 

Tony "Bones" Burge as Sergeant Lucky Spriggan, Sparks the Dog, Jimmy Newsfeed, reporter of 'The Herald's Bum,' and of course, the Advertisement Voice Over guy! 

--

Audio advice gratefully received and sometimes forgotten or ignored from Andrew "Parkers" Bailey from

The Campfire with Parkers & Daly!

https://www.thecampfirewithparkersanddaly.com/podcast

 

Featured music includes (in order):

Glen Miller & His Orchestra - "A String of Pearls"

Robert Palmer - "Bad Case of Loving You"

Hot Sugar Band - "Bouncin' Around" - from album "Are You In Shape"

Hot Sugar Band - "Beethoven Riffs On" - from album "Are You In Shape"

With special thanks again to Hot Sugar Band from Paris who gave permission to use their music! 

https://hotsugarband.bandcamp.com/

'Hectic Justice' theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman.  Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

Episode 6 - Moist In Metropolis!

Episode 6 - Moist In Metropolis!

April 21, 2020

Baxter Slick and the Judge, under contractual obligations from the show's new sponsors, discuss illegally smuggled donut matters using chicken puns.  The judge realises Baxter knows her dirty little secret and is forced to sign a legal form, giving Mascara immunity! Hester, late to the roast, attempts puns and tries to make peace with the judge to get a warrant to search Mascara's premises but Judge Feazlebottom is a little too suspiciously obliging! What's going on?! Hester storms out and then the next day bumps into Lucky  Spriggan and Sparks! She pashes Lucky and then leaves abruptly to perform the search warrant on Big "Tony" Mascara's premises with many nameless extras! But will it all go to plan?!

GUEST STARRING:

Michael Dalton as Dolly Diamond playing Judge Anna Feazlebottom

Tony Martin as Pete Smith! 

Featuring the voices of:

Sam Marzden as Narrator.

Lauren Bok as Detective Zoe Legless who doesn't appear in this episode but will next one, calm down!

Bek Chapman as Hester Monroe and Chicken Ad Man/Woman.

Tony "Bones" Burge as Sergeant Lucky Spriggan, Sparks the Dog, and of course, the Advertisement Voice Over guy! 

--

Audio advice gratefully received and sometimes forgotten or ignored from Andrew "Parkers" Bailey from

The Campfire with Parkers & Daly!

https://www.thecampfirewithparkersanddaly.com/podcast

 

Featured music includes (in order):

Glen Miller - "King Porter Stomp"

Bek Chapman - "Hectic Justice Theme Tune"

Hot Sugar Band - "Mabel" 

Hot Sugar Band - "Topsy" 

Chicken Ad vocals written by Bek Chapman written over King Porter Stomp by Glen Miller. 

Hot Sugar Band - "St James Infirmary"

Edd Kalehoff - "A Current Affair" Theme Tune

Sydney Edwards - "Today Tonight" Theme Tune

Project Theme Tune - Composer unknown. 

Rick Turk - "The 7.30 Report" Theme Tune

60 minutes ticking

Duran Duran - "(Reach Up for the) Sunrise" - Sunrise theme

Sam Fonteyn - "Today" theme

Rick Turk - "Four Corners" theme

With special thanks again to Hot Sugar Band from Paris who gave permission to use their music! 

https://hotsugarband.bandcamp.com/

'Hectic Justice' theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman.  Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

Episode 7 - Triumphant Tittilations!

Episode 7 - Triumphant Tittilations!

June 1, 2020

This episode sees Hester Monroe all tied up with a sexy rope in a dungeon.  A moist dungeon!  Awakened by Nippy Tits McNorgstrem, the buxom mafia broad with her super mild cigarettes, Hester realises she's indeed in deep do-do!  After some sexy torture, with plenty of inappropriate close-ups of nipples and thighs we then see a worried Baxter Slick drinking at the strip club with Big Tony and his oafs.  He's getting in deeper with the mob now, after tipping them off about the raid!  And now he's forced to take on Nippy "Tits" McNorgstrem as his new secretionary for his orifice.  But is it due to her savvy business administration skills?!  Or are they trying to get him HOOKED on their illicit PRODUCE?!  Find out in this episode of Hectic Justice!

GUEST STARRING:

Michael Dalton as Dolly Diamond playing Judge Anna Feazlebottom (who doesn't appear in this episode, OH! The travesty!)

Tony Martin with his usual jokes at the end.

Featuring the voices of:

Sam Marzden as the inappropriately aroused Narrator.

Lauren Bok as Nippy "Tits" McNorgstrum.

Bek Chapman as Hester Monroe (and as a poor mimic of Nippy "Tits" and Mickey One-Eye Spiggs's extra parts, due to coronavirus restrictions.)

AND 

Tony "Bones" Burge as basically EVERYONE else!  - Big "Tony" Mascara, Advertisement Voice Over guy, Defence Attorney Baxter Slick, and Davey "Joe" Spider, the dopey mafia intern!  What an acTOR!

--

Audio advice gratefully received and sometimes forgotten or ignored from Andrew "Parkers" Bailey from

The Campfire with Parkers & Daly!

https://www.thecampfirewithparkersanddaly.com/podcast

 

Featured music includes (in order):

Tommy Dorsey - "Stop, Look and Listen"

Bek Chapman - "Hectic Justice Theme Tune"

Hot Sugar Band - "Blue Drag" 

Hot Sugar Band - "Mabel" 

Hot Sugar Band - "Into This Heart of Mine"

Hot Sugar Band - "Daphne" underneath the Marlborough Tramps Advertisement.

Hot Sugar Band - "Blue Drag"

Hot Sugar Band - "East St Louis Toodle"

Hot Sugar Band - "Into This Heart of Mine" 

Hot Sugar Band - "Blue Drag" 

With special thanks again to Hot Sugar Band who gave permission to use their music! 

https://hotsugarband.bandcamp.com/

'Hectic Justice' theme music written, recorded and produced by Bek Chapman.  Performed by Bek Chapman, Sam Marzden, Lauren Bok and Tony "Bones" Burge.

All sound effects from Soundsnap.com.